Broken Doll
by LaurenVoldo
Summary: A year on since the confrontation between Volturi and the Cullens and Everything seems to be blissful, but someone wanted revenge. Edward blames himself for not being able to protect and not being able to believe. Will they survive this time?
1. Chapter 1

Bella POV

I will never let you fall, i will stand up with you forever,

I will be there for you through it all

Even if saving you sends me to heaven.

**Red Jumpsuit Apparatus- your gaurdian angel.**

A year on in my perfect peice of heaven and i was still blissfully happy. I was in the big house's kitchen preparing Nessies lunch (the stupid nickname had rubbed off on me, as jake so often liked to snigger about) as she played out in the garden on the new jungle gym Emmett and Rose had bought for her. It looked like it belonged in a section of disney world. I watched her through the window as scampered gracfully to the tallest of the two slides and shouted

"Watch me Momma" and she pushed off as hard as she could from the bar above her head and whirled down the spiril slide. I coudlnt help but worry alittle for her safety untill she came to the bottom sliding stright off and onto the thick soft matt at the bottom with a gracful "umph"

"Did you see?!" she shouted exctiedly clambering her way off the matt looking for my reaction.

"Yes i saw" i called proudly, smling inspite of myself. If she hurtself on that thing, id kill Emmett.

Satisfied with approvel she skipped off to climb the plastic steps that led to the gyms first floor. Who knew jungle gyms could have 3 floors.

She was the most spoilt child in exsistence. I stated this to Edward who just wrapped an arm round my waist and said

"_Are you going to ban it from her ,love?"_

I looked at our living little miricle and how her face was lit up and was bouncing around Rose singing thankyou over and over as Em laughed and started hammering the last peice of plastic into place. I didnt even answer and i didnt need to i just smiled so much i thought my face would break, Edward took it for a 'no'.

I smiled, as i filled a glass up with water. Nessie still prefered human blood but was ajusting better to her vegterian lifestyle, hunting with jake helped incredibly. She still liked to eat some human food, chicken being her favourite so i was grilling a stip off for her lunch but never the less she loved the competion at taking down the biggest animal, just like her father. Edward.

Id never come to understand how i became so incredible lucky to have him, and the life he'd given me. I couldnt help the smile slip off my face. He was away at the moment.

Alice,Jazz,Rose,Esme and Edward were away 'cleaning up' a mountian lion problem up somwhere in canada. Myself,Carlisle. Emmett and Ness had stayed behind after hunting two days previous before the news came in. As stupid as it was i missed him terribly. He'd be back tommorow, maybe this evening and still it wasnt good enough, i missed being with him. His crooked smile, his eyes looking at me in that way that made my inside melt. Alone in those tiny hours of the night when me and Edward shared something with each other the world couldnt know about, our own little secrets. Emmetts frustration with his game brought me out of my nights with Edward, thank god i couldnt blush anymore.

"DAMN IT!" Emmett roared from the front room and i heard something i took to be his x-box remote hit the floor.

"Lose again Em" i murmured smiling slightly,he was such a sore loser. Above Carlisle chuckeld

"Shut up Bella", he growled "Edward isnt here to protect you remember"

"Oh dear, that puts me in my place doesnt it" i said innocently. I slid the chicken off the the pan and onto the plate and began chopping the tomatoes quickly."But oh, arnt the strongest in the house still, that must be irritating for you, i am sorry"

Emmett was at the kitchen door in as flash. i glanced up at him with a smug grin sliding the rest of Nessies lunch onto the plate

"Me, you, wrestling outside now."Emmett snareld menacingly

"Now you two..." carlisle said warningly from above, a heard the paper rustle as he went through his presentation he was to give to some smart suit higher up in the medical bussiness than he was, funny to think the world hadnt declared Carlisle the best doc in the universe yet.

"Oh come on Carlisle" Emmett whined at the ceiling "Esmes not here and im not gonna really hurt her, just prove her wrong.."

Carlisle sighed in his study.

While Emmett was stating his case i went over to the kitchen door to call Nessie in but she wasnt on the gym. It shouldnt of been anything to worry about, just because i couldnt see her doesnt mean anything had happend, so naturally panick ripped through me instantly and i tore out of the back door.

"..And esme never..Bella what the hell?" Emmett said in confusion

I scaned our back yard for her, the river, i couldn't see her. For a second i thought she might of fell in but my advanced sense of smell told me she'd went left into the woods, no where near the river.

I heard Emmetts heavy footsteps cross the kitchen and come to the kitchen door, quickly understanding what i was searching for.

"Nessie?" He boomed out.

I heard a chair from the second floor nosily (to me)screech across the wooden floor as Carlise stood.

And before i could bolt into the woods, Before i could come to the conclusion she'd seen Jake and they were playing a joke on me.

I heard my daughters blood curdling scream.

I didnt even think. It took me a second to realise i was in the woods, trees passing in a blur. Fear dominated my body, never did i think id live ever to hear that sound from my daughter, because i was one of the people meant to protect her from anything that could make her scream like that, id never forgive myself.

I followed her scent which was joined with a new one,a vampire.

I snarl ripped from my throat, and fury coursed through my being, venom flowed in my mouth, and my muscles tighted, ready to fight.

Another snarl joined my own and i regonised it as Emmetts,he'd picked up the scent. He was a little furhter behind me and i heard more feather light footsteps catching me up.

Soon carlisle was a little infront , he was faster, second fastest to Edward.

Oh my god, why wasnt he here.

Closely followed by me Carlisle burst through a little thicket of trees and into a small clearing.

Renessmee lay still on her back, her bronze curls shining in the sunlight that peeked over the trees. I registered this is the seconds it took me to crouch down beside her, Carlisle already at work, examining her.

"Renessmee" i whispered.

She groaned and her eyes twitched

"Renessmee" Carlisle said calmly, his medical training kicking in, his voice was still strained.

Emmett burst through the trees and didnt stop only slowing to look at carlisle who nodded and with that Emmett took off into the trees again following the culprits scent.

"Momma" she moaned.

"Im here,so's grandpa" i tried keeping all panick out of my voice, to be as comforting as i could. I smoothed back her hair.

"Momma" she said more painfully, getting louder,

"Im here Honey," i looked up at carlisle who was checking her pulse and staring at her in complete confusion

"Carlisle, whats.."

"MOMMA" she screamed and i swear my heart cracked. "MOMMA MY SHOULDER, ITS BURNING, STOP IT BURNING"

Carlisle ripped back her sweatshirt and tore the top of her cotten t-shirt.

He made a repulsed groan as we both stared in complete shock at the teeth marks moulded into her tiny shoulder.

My human memories flashed before my eyes. Fuzzy and blurred but the dance studio was one most clear.

I could never forget the pain of the fire, licking its way through my veins and down my body,burning me from the inside. I remembered Edward. I rememberd how he saved me. Why couldnt he be here now. What would this mean for our Renesmee, she was already half human half vampire, would this turn her fully? Either why i didnt care, it was hurting her, i wouldnt let her hurt like that, to feel like she wanted to die, to beg for death.

I couldnt let this happen to her. Half a second had passed.

"Carlisle, Suck it out!" i screamed at him

He didnt move,he was frozen looking at Renessmee pain and confusion crippiling his screamed again and began to thrash, it would be too late soon.

"Hold her Carlisle" i snarled

Could i do this? i'd always resisted human blood, and Nessie was half that, a human. I had to, i had to resist but nessie's blood never appealed to me, it smelt like the lovelyest perfume, but what if it changed once her blood passed my lips, would i kill her?

No.

Carlisle's head snapped up and he looked at me understanding.

"Are you sure?" his voice was uncertain but gently put his hands on his grandchild with enough force to stop her thrashing.

But before i could answer him i bent down over my daughter and whispered the truth in her ear.

"Im going to make it go away" and then i placed my lips over the ones already moulded into her small shoulder.

I felt something deep ignite in me, warm and appealing. The monster id denied awoke and sniffed at the new liquid being supplied to it. But it didnt take ahold of me. I knew where i was, i knew what i had to do, i knew my daughter was screaming and i had to stop this hurting her. The attackers venom flowed in my mouth and it burned like acid and tasted sour but nothing could overthrow the need to save her. Nessie began to scream more at first and Carlisle was trying to supply comforting words but still she screamed and i felt my heart crack even more. After a minute her screams started to fade and her breathing became even but i couldnt stop untill i was sure, or did i not want to stop?.

"Bella, i can smell her blood, its clean" carlisles strained whisper reached me and i registered the smooth flow of taste of freesais and honey in my mouth. Slowly i pulled away.

"Are you sure?" i whispered still leaning over Renessmee's body and listening to the even beating of her heart.

"Yes, very." Carlisle gained control of himself again " But we must get her back to the house shes lost enough blood"

His hands moved to slid under her body and i snarled menancly at him.

"Bella please" he said calmly.

i stared at him for at him for a moment trying to beat back the instinct to attack anything that touched her, i had to protect her. But this was Carlisle and he was just as worried as i was, i could see it in his eyes. I nodded shifting off her body and leaning back on my feet to allow him to scoop her up and both of us started the race home.


	2. Chapter 2

Edwards POV

And i realise that empty words are not enough

Im left here with the question of,

just what have i to show accept, the promises i never kept,

I lie here shaking on this bed,to weight of my regrets.

I hope i never let you down.

**Artist in the ambulence- Thrice.**

I crouched to spring, grinning as i did so. The poor creature could never see me coming.

Alice did.

As i was mid way through my pounce she crashed into my side, i had no time to steer out of her aim so with the sound of thunder she sent me into the rocky ledge below.

Her tinkling laugh echoed off the rocky mountain, along with sound of my feet landing heavily on the rock causing it to crack.

"Alice you do know we're trying to be subtle about our presence" i told her haughtily, I watched the as my lion now aware of our presense hissed and then bolted off further up the rocky peek.

_"Better luck next time_ _Edward" _Alice thought smugly and with that the annoying sized pixie skipped her way to the west side of the ledge and swandived into the tree's. I could of easily of went after the creatrue (the lion, not alice) but i couldnt be bothered, id did my share of 'forest ranger' today, taking down 3 lions. One before it tried to attack human hikers, they heard some of the fight the lion put up but instead of investagating they looked at each other and started running down the mountain path screaming. They were smart and it made me and Jazz laugh before getting told by Rosalie we were "Complete utter idiots". I gave her a smug smile to indicate i knew she just wanted them to catch a glimpse of her to wonder in her beauty, to let them think they saw 'mother nature' herself or as Rose thought she looked. She chased me the whole way back to the clearing swearing she was going to make me 'wish id never been born'

I heard Jazz laugh as Alice recalled what just happend but he was hardly listening, just watching her thinking how perfect she was and what they had done the night before they left....

"ARGH" i said it loud enough for them to hear.

"Stay out of my head then" Jasper retorted back, but he was embarassed with himself.

Striding along the way Alice had just left and going for a more classic jump. Just beacuse she liked to show off didnt mean we all did.

I grabbed a branch half way down and swung round once and launched myself into the clearing over Jazz's head. Okay i liked to show off a little bit.

"_Show Off!" _ Alice shouted in her head.

"Speak for yourself." i replyed breezily and sprinted ahead to meet Esme who was draining the last of her kill. Alice bet Jasper she could beat him and darted off after me, jasper followed slower than he was capable, not taking a bet against Alice.

"You did that on purpose" she pouted at him when he joined the three of us.

"Like you knew i would" jasper smiled and took her hand, Alice beamed up at him.

I turned away and wondered a little further away pretending to be intrested in something else other than their thoughts. Esme being happy that they both had each other and she had both of them as part of her family, then her thoughts turned to the warm ones of Carlisle.

Carlise, Em and my heart and soul were at home. I wanted nothing more than to be back with them. Listen to my daughters whirlwind thoughts and her love for the world and her family, her constant thirst to learn, sometimes she'd spend the whole evening asking Carlisle, myself and Bella questions until she fell asleep. My daughter was the best treasure of our family.

Then there was my Bella. I longed to look into those golden eyes that silently told me they loved me. Run my fingers through her soft mahogony hair, trailing my fingers down her back and feeling her shiver with pleasure against my body. And when we were alone i could unwrap her like the best gift she was to unveal her marble body, with curves all in the right places and she was all mine, the most beautiful creature was waiting for me at home and if we got home tonight...well we would have all night.

Jasper felt my emotional shift and began to snigger.

I whirled round and took him by surprise, not alice, she dived out of the way just in time failing to take Jazz with her. The wrestle began.

Esme started shouting at us audibly and silently at me in her head

"Stop it both of you RIGHT NOW!"

"_Edward for goodness sake, be mature like the young man you are, well you not exactly young but..YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!"_

Alices mind raced ahead as she tried to 'see' the outcome. She sighed as she showed me what id do two steps ahead to beat Jasper.

Jasper might be the best fighter in our family, but the trick is to let him think he's got the upperhand (which he always mostly does with Emmett who gets to cocky or frustrated)so you fake a wrong movement which i did to let jasper get my arm behind my back and then with my free hand i grabbed his arm he was going to use to put me in a head lock to spin us both round so i had both jazz's arms behind his back before i kicked the back off his legs to get him on his knees.

It was almost a big enough distraction to stop me missing Bella.

I let go of him and jumped back a few steps. Jasper growled, i could in his mind he was about ot launch himself at me again. I crouched, waiting. And then Esme slapped the back off his head with her hand.

The sound echoed off the rocky tops above us.

"Dont you two dare start that again!" she scowled at us both

Alice burst out laughign at Jazz's ashamed little boy expression and then i did. Then Esme started laughing with us.

"Its not _that_ funny" Jasper said defensivly

"No its not" Esme said trying to keep a stright face, Alice was doubled over.

I recovered along with Esme and she looked pointidly at both me and Jazz

"Sorry Mom" we both recited together.

She smiled as Rose danced into the clearing and Alice strightened up taking Jazz's hand in hers, smiling at him like he was a wonder of the world.I know what it felt like to look at someone and think like that, for years it used to depress me that i didnt.

"Was it you two that sounded like bears singing" Rose directed at me and Jazz,smiling slyly

Jazz didnt acknowledge her but continued to stare at Alice.

I was beginning to miss Bella more than i had all day, my dead heart was starting to hurt. Might as well channel some pain into annoying Rose.

"Yes Rosalie that was Jazz and I, and still it was a big improvement compared to you when you actually try to sing" i supplied sweetly.

She gave me a shocked then filthy look before turning to Esme who was staring at me in shock as was Alice. Jasper was actually thinking that was a good one.

I never stooped down so low, i was more of a gentleman.I must miss Bella more than i thought i did. I seen Bella in my mind and imagined the look she'd give me if she'd of been here. I cringed.

"Can we leave soon?" Rose said coldly

Esme was still looking at me.

"Rose, im sorry i didnt mean that..i just miss them" i said quietly.

Esme's smile was understanding,Alice rolled her eyes, Jaspers thoughts grew uncomfortable as he sensed my longing.

Rose let out a long sigh

" I know i miss them too, so can we please go" she pleaded.

"Yes okay as long..."

I never heard the end of Esme's sentence, nor did Alice.

She gave out a little gasp as her mind flew ahead against her control, a complete blur with me caught up in it all. Bellas face came into her mind, a feirce look on her face. It changed. Bellas face was positioned at someones ear, bronze ringlets pushed away as Bella held Renesmee's head with one hand and whispered something in her ear, to low to be audible in the vision, and then bella bit into our daughters shoulder.

I felt my face turn into a horror mask of confusion and pain as part of my mind registered Jasper shaking Alice, her face mirroring mine. I allowed all of my mind to be thrown back into Alices, the edges of this vision was blurred as Renessmee screamed, tears streaming down her face. She was Ovbious in unbearably agnony. Then it ended.

I was thrown back into the present. Everybodys mind in panick and burning curosity. Jasper was running his eyes over the trees, anticipating an attack while darting looks back at Alice as he shook her shoulders.

"What did you see Alice" his voice was strained as he tried to stay calm.

Esme was was staring from me back to alice. Rosalie had slipped into a crouch.

I couldnt believe it, i wouldnt belive it. Alice was trying not to either, searching ahead trying to look for something else. Something that would explain this but she could only come up with that one thing that didnt make any sense. Bella attacked our daughter because she was thirsty.

"NOOO!!!!!" i roared at her

Causing Esme to jump, Rose to hiss. Jasper to give me a warning growl.

"I cant make any more sense of it Edward", Alice said in a broken whisper "And neither can you"

"Alice what did you...EDWARD" Jasper called out after me but i was already pelting ahead, taking a bet against Alice. I wouldnt allow this to happen.

It was a few minutes before the others thoughts came closer to mine as Alice quickly explained what she'd seen.


	3. Chapter 3

Edward.

Are they themselves to blame  
The misery, the pain?  
Didn't we let go?  
Allowed it,let it grow  
If we can't restrain  
The beast which dwells inside  
It will find it`s way somehow, somewhere in time

Will we remember all of the suffering  
`Cause if we fail it will be in vain

Our Solemn Hour- Within Temptation

We crossed the boarder an hour later and although Alice's vision informed us we were too late, we kept running. Id left my cell phone in my volvo after taking a bet with Emmett i could last a day without talking to Bella, im not sure how exactly he got me into that one, my temper was top suspect. What a stupid thing to have done. Esme was the only one with a phone but she kept getting voice mail.

"Carlisle,ring me back as soon as you can" she pleaded after the fifth ring

"Anything Alice?" Rosalie pressed

"If there had been anything i'd of told you by now Rose" Alice snapped.

My insides were writhering in anxiety as Alice searched ahead but only getting the same images, these were enough to let loose a pain so sevre Jasper had to grab my upper arm to keep me upright and pull me along, radiating soothing waves over me untill i got my head stright.

I couldnt even begin to comprehend the terror that i was drowning in. Not even when the volturi threatening the lives of our whole family and friends did i feel like this. What would we be returning home to? If Nessie weren't dead, No she wouldnt be dead. Emmett and Carlisle would be close by to prevent...something irreversable. What would this to my Bella? It would destroy her. She'd convince herself she shouldnt be near us, push us away. I knew Bella well enough to know she wouldnt get over doing something like this. We'd all comfort her,(rose flashed to my mind), most of us would. We'd explain it was behond her control, her natural instincts she'd denied got the better of her. But would that be a good enough explanation for her. I'd convince her, id make her see if it took me years. She trusted me, i wouldnt let her to hate herself. But after this, could we afford to have her near Nessie, have her watched all the time she was with her?. She'd amazed us all at her ability to resist so well but now, as jasper kept thinking, had she snapped?

"Esme try again" i ordered and pushed myself as fast as i could go. I got 10ft ahead of them all and it still didnt seem fast enough.

I heard esme try, and try, and try again. Nothing. What was happening?

Jasper tried to radiate a calm over all of us but couldnt concentrate properly with all of us moving and the other thoughts going through his head.

"_should of seen this coming.."_

I growled and im sure someone withing a five mile radius would of heard me but the torture kept coming..

_"she cant be let near Nessie after this, i'll make sure of it, not allowed alone. no to risky. Please, please let Em have done something.."_

_"If i could only see.." _a picture of Renessmee crying in pain _" I cant keep looking at this...why cant i see!!!"_

_"Please let carlisle ring, i cant bear the thought of what were returning home too, what if Emmet and Carlisle were too late, what if they dont know already, my Nessie.."_

I ran harder trying to escape their thoughts putting everything i had into pushing the earth behind me. The scary thing, excluding the situation at present, was knowing i was agreeing with some of their thoughts.

15 minutes later and we were nearly there. Familiar scents and surroundings passing us. Emmetts reached us first and then went further west.

"Should one of us go and see where it leads?" Esme shouted, she sounded as if she were choking

Before one of the others could reply his scent came in again, a fresher trail leading back to the house. I burst into a small clearing and was hit by 3 scents stopping me in my tracks,sending dirt flying others soon followed in, mimiciking me and taking in the strong scent of Carilsle, Bella and Renessmee and a faint one of Emmett.

"This is where it happend." Alice whispered.

Five pairs of eyes locked in on the the middle of the clearing where the grass had been disturbed.

"Why did Emmett leave?" Jaspers voice was confused as well as strained.

I was scarred to leave, to find out what was waiting back at home. What was the result of the disturbed grass a couple of hours ago.

Rosalie darted past me, the rest of us quickly followed and i over took them all.

This was no time to be a coward. My family needed me.


	4. Chapter 4

Bella.

All that im living for

All that im dying for

all i cant ignore, alone night

all that im wanted for

all i want and more, lock the last open door

my ghosts are gaining on me

I believe the dreams are secred,

take my darkest fears and play them like a lullaby

like a reason why.

I ran my fingers over renesmees hair as she slept. The venom hadnt spread far so i hadnt sucked out as much blood as Carlisle would be fine she just needed to rest and that we'd have to clean the wound every so often to stop infections.I thought i was going to collapse with relief when he told me,he must of thought so to because he put his arm around could of been so much worse, i could of been mourning. The thought made me wince. We made her drink 4 cups of packeted blood we have kept for emergencys just to be sure and Carlisle gave her a shot of morphine to ease the pain and we set her on the sofa with a duvet. I didnt feel comfortable leaving her in a bedroom .Carlisle agreed with me. The attack had put all my senses on the edge, not to mention when i thought about it, it made me tremble with fury. Emmett had returned to the house half an hour after we did.

"He's dead." he confirmed as me and Carlisle rushed to meet him half way across the room. He looked over at Renesmee and his face relaxed.

"He's...?" Carlisle groaned. A tiny bit of me started celebrating and i felt a grin spread to my face, Emmett returned it. Then i felt disgusted with mysel, Emmett could of been killed. We could of lost two family memebers today. Emmett read my facial shift.

"Its alright Bella. Im fine. You worry to much"

"Worry to much?" i choked out

"What happend Emmett" Carlisle sighed

"Wasnt very experienced. I chased him west, he was fast, but i caught him when he was doubling back to go east. I would bet he had a car waiting. I through a tree into his path to make his life a tad difficult and then i lunged at him" he finished smugly.

"Emmett. We needed to know why he did what he did."

I growled at the thought of 'him' coming back near this house. Emmett shared his agreement with by nodding.

"I did try that. Got him in a head lock and asked him the whole usual questions you would a potential killer" Emmett said exasperated. A whine slid out my throat, i looked at Renessmee.

"Sorry Bella, i didnt mean it to sound..like that. Anyway, he wouldnt tell me anything just kept 'trying' to kill me and...im sorry Carlisle i lost my temper." He looked at the ground ashamed. Carlisle put a hand on his shoulder.

"Im just thankful it wasnt i regret a loss of life"

"Same" i murmured still watching Renesmee, "except that last bit." Emmett chuckeld

"Well Esme would go billistic if she came back and i was dead."

Carlisle's lip twitched

We all drifted over to the sofa, i sat on the floor by Nessies head. Em and Carlisle sat on the other sofa and carlisle quickly explained what happened with us. I listened to everything else, the wind passing through the leaves, the gentle gush of the river water, Renesmees slow even breaths and her steady heart beat. It was the only thing that kept me calm. I needed Edward. I felt lost without him depiste the other twos company,i know theyd do all they could to protect us(as i them) but i needed Edward here. I needed to see the promise in his eyes and the feirceness in his voice when he told me he'd keep us safe.

.

"Im so very proud of you Bella." Carlisle said after a while. I smiled weakly at him and turned back to Nessie.

"I was afraid If you hadnt of been there....it could have been so much worse. I was afriad i wouldnt stop."

"But you did. More quickly than Edward did and its amazing in itself your only a little more than a year old." I turned back to him and smiled

Emmetts mouth had been hanging open as Carlisle explained how id sucked the venom out and stopped when i was told. He let out a low whistle.

"Well done Bella. Your outshining golden boy." he said awestruck

"I dont think i could ever do that" i murmured and turned back to Renessmee

She still looked paler than usual but a tint of rose had appeared on her cheeks. I rang Edward when i was sure i had a grip of myself, i would need to be calm to explain the situation to him, only to hear the phones muffled ringing from the garage. It wasnt like him to leave his phone at home. Emmett explained about the phone bet and looked like he regretted making it in the first place, he quickly went into theories with Carlisle for the attack before i could comment. Rose would go billistic enough for the two of us im sure. A couple of hours and he'll be home. I slipped off into a daydream watching my Daughter and thinking of Edward untill i heard the sound of faint running footsteps. The three of us stood at the same time.


	5. Chapter 5

Bella

Im holding on your rope got me 10 ft off the ground,

Im hearing what you say but i just cant make a sound,

You tell me that you need me then you go and cut me down,

but wait

Tell me that your sorry, didnt think id turn around and say

Its too late to apologize.

Its too late.

Apologize- One republic.

My body tensed, Emmett was at the window in a second

"There back" he exhaled in releif

The footsteps grew louder and my body reflexifly moved towards the door knowing Edward was coming. Id only taken a couple of steps when it burst open and there he was. I felt my face break into a smile, i was so releived. It was like id been holding my head under water and ive finally broken the surface.

It all happend very quickly. My smile faltered something was wrong, Edward looked at me like he was seeing me for the first time, assesing me and then i seen Jasper dart out from behind him and make his way at me. I couldnt move. Jasper collided with me grabbing my arms and pulling them behind my back as he dragged me away from the sofa against the the wall away from the scene. I was so shocked i didnt struggle against him, i couldnt. Everyone was talking at once.

Rose was crouched over the sofa shaking Renesmee "Nessie, Ness, wake up. Carlisle is she all right" she shouted sounding deranged.

"What the hell is wrong with all of you" Emmett shouted, moving his way towards me and Jasper, Jasper hissed and pulled us back further tighting his grip on me. Emmett stopped in his tracks beside the sofa looking thunderously as Jasper.

Edward was sitting down beside Renessmeee who was now sitting up awake and looking around alarmed. Edward pulled her into his lap cradiling her there. Esme was clutching Carlisle's arm whispering frantically for explanations, he looked as confused as i was trying to calm her down. I looked around for Alice and found her near the door they'd all burst through. She was looking at me her pixie face screwed up in confusion and her black spiky hair everywhere from running.

Why would they all react like this, how would they even know. I glanced back at Alice, some peices clicking into place. Alice had seen Nessie get hurt so they'd all come back, but why was Jasper restraining me from the rest of them, as if i was dangerous. Why hadnt Edward come to my defence, he wasnt even looking at me. Renesmee was crying and looking at me from Jasper, to Edward, to me pressing her hands against his face trying for answers. He held her tighter against him. I felt the pull to her, i had to comfort her. I shifted against Jasper moving towards Nessie, he growled and tightened his grip causing me to yelp. Edward opened his eyes but still didnt look at me, he looked as if he were in pain.

"Dont move bella" Jasper said quietly, it sounded like a threat.

"Jazz, let her go. Nothing will happen" Alice said slowly, her face going blank and then coming back into the present. Still confused.

"Why.." Emmett began before Rosalie exploded

"Dont you dare. Jasper, take her outside", her voice burned with acid dripping from every word. i cringed back against Jasper instinctivly. "Why have you still allowed her in here!! Anywhere near her, what the hells wrong with you" she hurled between Emmett and Carlisle.

"Rosalie will you please calm down.." Carlisle began starting to look furious but talking softly

"Us, whats wrong with you lot?!" Emmett snarled back. Emmett never talked to rose like that, shock flitted acorss her features before turning back into the hardned mask burning with rage. I was more terrified of her than i ever had been. Renesmee began to sob more loudly and tried to break Edwards grasp and reach out to me.

"Fine" Rose hissed, "Ill do it" she strightened up out of her protective crouch and and started to move around the sofa. Emmett appeared in front of me blocking Rose.

Why didnt Edward?

Before anyway one else could speak carlisle intervened

"Will everybody please calm down for a few seconds, there is no need to remove Bella,releasing her would be more accurate. Jasper will you please explain to us why you are holding her and what you have all assumed Alice has seen". Ive never heard Carlisle angry, it was scary. His eyes bore into everyone, like a scoulding father. He looked like a furious God.

Jaspers grip loosened under Carlisle's glare, but not by much.I tried not to concentrate on the pain that was rolling over my shoulders. My body must be in an obvious strain, vampires arn't hurt easily. I was trying to push down the agnony being caused on me by my family, not pyhsically but emotionally. Why would they do this to me. Why would Edward allow this to happen to me.

Emmett got it first.

"They think Bella bit her." he snapped out disgusted. I stiffened along with the room. Every feeling i had trying to push its way to the surface evaporated. I felt numb and i was sure id never want to feel again, i didnt underestimate the pain that would come.

Edward sprang up, looking at emmett and reading, hearing and seeing his thoughts. Renesmee still in his arms.

"Oh" he sounded as if he were being strangled. His eyes slid to mine, full of remorse. I couldnt hold his gaze, it made something rear in the pit of my stomach. I looked passed him to the glass window and watched the river not before seeing the appalled look etched into Carlisle handsome face.

Alice moved closer to the scene, "What happend" how could two words sound so pained. I felt eyes on me but i wouldnt respond.

I heard Carlisle slipping over what happened quickly,wanting the hostile situation to pass.

I could understand. I could understand the others assuming this, assuming that i'd bit her if thats what Alice vision had only allowed her to see me biting into her shoulder. They relied on her sight. What i couldnt understand was Edward. Even if everyone else had believed Alice's vision, why would he. How could he. How could believe i'd do such a thing, i knew my love for my daughter would never be ruled by thirst and her scent was the same to everyone as it were to me. Perfume. He mustn't trust me. If he cant trust me, he cant love me. Not in the way that he should. Even if all evidence pointed to me he was mean to to believe in me, agaisnt everything. Like i would for him.

I felt something break inside me. My heart.

Carlisle came to the end of the his speech, adding "Let her go jasper". Jasper reluctantly released his grip on me, moving around to stand beside me, still a little infront. Not fully convinced i wasnt arms were still behind my back, i must of looked ubsurd but i couldnt move. Esme broke out into loud sobs, coming into sync with Renesmees. I felt as if i were carved from stone. The barricade against my emotions crumbled and i felt it all, as they stabbed me. Pain,anger,fury,humilation,hurt,betrayl and more i couldnt register. I didnt let them play off my face. I must of missed one because out of the corner of my eye i seen and felt Edward wince. Emmett moved so he didnt have his back to me but so he could watch the party at sofa and Jasper and I.

"But Alice seen.." Rose said still determined

"Bella, Im so sorry" Esme choked out sitting down on the sofa. I felt her eyes pleading with me, trying to make me look at her. I couldnt. Jaspers shoulders drooped and he crossed the room to stand beside Alice.

"Its not your fault" he whispered feircely, i heard her sob. Id never heard Alice sob. She was always determined to find a way out of a dark corner. She was trapped in this one.

The remorse was building up in the room, i could feel it. I couldnt stand it. It broke Edward first. He set Rensmee, still crying on the sofa. Taking a step to towards me

"Bella" he said softly. I closed my eyes. I could feel the remorse,the disgust and the shame he was feeling in the way he said my name. I didnt feel anything.

"Dont" i replied flatly, coldly, as i heard him take another step towards me. He froze.

I moved at the same time Alice whispered "Your leaving". Not a question but a statement, it nearly made me break hearing her sound so defeated. Esme began to sob louder.

I was going to feel soon and i needed to be away from here, i needed to leave. I crossed the room and was half way to the door when the only thing that could stop me screamed,

"MOMMA"

I turned round in time to see Rose reach out to try and restrain her, a snarl built up in my throat but died when Renessmee screamed "LET GO OF ME!" at her with so much hatred i knew it would scare me later. Rose collapsed into the sofa her face mangled in shock and then agony. I looked at everyone then.

Carlisle looked as if he'd lived years in torture, Esme relfected him with choking sobs as he held her to him both watching Renesmee hiccup and walk over to me slowly. Emmetts eyes were closed, he looked defeated but accepting, it was so out of character for him. Alice was watching me with her eyes like the grave, Jaspers were pleading. Edward, my literly heart breaking angel, looked as if he were being burned alive and i felt somthing stab into my heart, and it further. He was shaking, a man on the edge of despair. I had to say something, id rather die than watch him look like this,despite everything he had and could do, i wouldnt let him hurt like this. Know that i was causing this, id caused my whole family to look like this. Because i couldnt protect our daughter when she needed me.

"I'll be back in the morning" i said as comfortingly as i could, my voice sounded dead. Something tugged on my blue shirt, Edwards favourte on me, i looked down into hurting brown eyes.

"Take me with you" Renesmee pleaded. I couldnt deny her but i couldnt take her if she were in danger.

I crouched down to her level and took her face in my hands. She placed one on mine quickly, a picture of me and her together flashed across my eyes and then of me her and Edward. I pulled her hand away and held it, one hand still on her face.

"You have to stay with Carlisle" i whispered, i could see the protest about to scream at me but i hurried on, "You have to rest, you need to be near Carlisle until your better"

The hand that wasnt holding mine wrapped around my wrist of the hand holding her face. Restraining me.

"But you said you'd be back in the morning" she hiccupped and then she wailed "I dont want to stay here"

And i couldnt argue with her, i didnt want to, i needed her with me.

I scooped her up against my chest. Someone let out a heartbroken wail, Rose hid her face in her hands.


	6. Chapter 6

Bella.

My dreams are growing into  
Frustrations when I hear your voice  
Feeding me till I'm choking  
My ears are ringing louder  
Repeating words that bring me down  
Ringing, my ears are bleeding

So hold your breath and spare me  
The pointless conversation, I'm running out of patience  
Don't blame me for trying to reach

"Carlisle", I said quietly ignoring his distraught expression. It made me sick to know i caused pain, the familys pain, Edwards pain. "Will the morphine you've already give her last until morning or will i have to take a dose with me"

"No..I..It won't" he said somberly.

I could see he wasnt going to leave Esme's side not when she was as upset as this. I set Renessmee down, she clutched at my hair scared i was going to leave without her.

"Get you coat, and i'll back in two seconds" i told her

"You promise" she said in a small voice into my neck

"I promise,Emmett. will you help her?" I had no right to ask, but he was the only i know wouldnt try to stop us, Carlisle was in no position to move. Emmett nodded.

As soon as her hands had left my hair, i flew up the stairs to carlisle study. All the medical equipment needed earlier had been tidied up. The morphine was still on the desk in its case. I opened it, there was enough for two shots and two syringes with it. I took them both just in case. I sped down the stairs, Renesmee was being helped into her coat by Emmett.

It was so quiet,apart from Esme's sobs, that it was easy to hear the sound of heavy footfalls moving through the forest. Four huge paws beating the earth untill they stopped in the trees surrounding the house. It was a few seconds before the sound of human feet started approaching the house. Jake had phased.

Edward hissed. Rose's head had came out of her hands, something had lit up her face. It scared me. Everyone else looked apprehensive, worried about what could happen next. Hadnt we been through enough, we didnt need a werewolf in a rage.

I darted over to Renesmee and zipped up her jacket as Jake started up the porch. I pulled her into my sure of Jake's reaction to all this would be, i held her close, careful not to put pressure on her shoulder.

Jake started talking before he'd even opened the door, knowing that we'd hear.

"Not a clue what im going to do about Leah, you wont belive what she pulled today", he opened the door running his hand thorugh his hair and closing the door with the other, he hadnt even looked up, "I swear to god i dont think i can..." he paused taking in the scene. His eyes roamed the room, getting more desperate as they passed everyone untill they finally rested on Renesmee.

"Whats going on?" Jake made to come over to us, i stepped back. Id been here long enough i needed to go. I feared i was going to be over taken with the storm raging inside of me. I felt tired for the first time in months and it was inhumanly possible for me to be so. Jake looked at me with begging eyes.

"Where are you going?" he demanded. He took another step, so did I.

"Whats happend" he was close to shouting now. Renessmee shuttered in my arms. This was too much for her, it wasnt fair.

"We'll be back in the morning." I said devensivly. Moving in the direction to the door that lead out to the garage.

"Tell me Bella!" he was shouting now, "Is she hurt?" he said deperately, his expression changed as he read my face properly, "Are you?"

I felt someting ripple through my body and it the pain nearly killed me, i flinched back.

Jake turned to Edward, he was shaking. Great if he exploded this would be one hell of a night.

"What.." he didnt get to finish Rosalie was on her feet shouting again

"She's taking Nessie away, she mightened come back!!" she screamed at him standing up and stabbing a finger at me. Jake looked as if he'd been slapped. Edward growld and it echoed off the trees outside, the way he looked at Rose, i'd be lying if i said i wasnt scared for her.

"Rosalie you know Bella wont do that" Emmett shouted rushing over to try and comfort her. Jasper looked disgusted, Alice was hidden in his chest, shaking. Esme...i couldnt even explain. I couldnt do this anymore.

I moved to the door. There was a crash and suddenly Rosalie was infront of it crouched, baring her teeth. Half a second and then Edward was infront me before i could respond, snarling at his sister.

"Rosalie, your being unreasonable. They are coming back in the morning" Esme cried. Renesmee began to shake again in my arms. Emmett apeared beside Rose pulling her out of her crouch.

"Rose,please" he whispered strightened up and looked at me, trying to hide what he felt.I held my hand out to him and he took it instantly linking our fingers together. Jacob started coming towards the three of us. I stepped back and my foot hit the small step of the podium that Edwards Piano stood on.

"You wont take her away from me" He bellowed.

"Im not trying to Jake" i screamed, everything i'd felt tonight breaking into my voice. Edward snarled at him,making him stop again. I squeezed Edwards hand,

"I promise" i nodded and i dropped his hand,looking away from the agony in his face as i did so. Everything was taking over me, my emotions were in a blender, being hurled up to the surface in complete dissaray. I wondered if it was stupid to take Renessmee with me tonight but i couldnt leave her here. She'd never forgive for that and i had so much i needed forgiven already. Rosalie was struggling against Emmetts grip

"Jasper please" Carlisle begged.

"No, what if they dont come back.." she cried

"Rose they will, listen to me..."

"But you dont know that, Alice doesnt know that, i cant lose her!!" Rosalie screamed and then she locked eyes with mine. "Dont Bella, please. Please. I was the only one that helped you, Please Bella" she was getting more hysterical, why wouldnt she believe id come back...the same reason she thought you'd bite your daughter a voice at the back of my mind whispered.

"Rosalie Dont!!" Edward suddenly roared at the same time she shouted

" I WAS THE ONLY ONE THAT WANTED TO HELP YOU KEEP HER ALIVE." she screeched and then froze with the rest of us, appalled at what she'd just said. Renesmee striffened in my arms. I had her on the ground infront of me in an instant, an arm around her waist and one hand on her face.

"Its not true Renesmee. Its not." I whispered feircely.

She didnt beleive me. And under my hands i watched my daughters porcelain face break and like a broken doll she fell apart. Shattering what was left of my heart.

Bella

If they hurt you,

They hurt me too,

so we'll rise up,

wont stop,

cuz its all about us.

All about us- Tatu

I held her to me, holding what was left of her together. I looked up at Edward from where i was crouched holding our daughter to me as she cried, so painfully i could almost hear her heart splintering, I looked at him begging him to tell what to do. He looked at me as if he had just witnessed someone he loved die. Three seconds had passed and then there was an uproar.

Rosalie broke out of Emmetts rigid clutch and sprinted to us, Edward knocked her to the floor and she struggled with him.

"I didnt, didnt mean, i didnt.." she shouted hysterically trying to reach Renesmee. Jasper had abandoned Alice on the sofa with Esme, as they both stared in complete horror at all of us, to come and help Edward. Emmett and Carlisle were like statues. Jake was practically vibrating, striding towards us, eyes on Renesmee and then when on me, murderous. He couldnt blame me for this, the whole situation had gotten completely out of hand, to the point it had broken my heart and was breaking my daughters. I wouldnt allow anything else to happen to her, im sure this was Jakes intent to but i was past reasoning. I wouldnt let him take her, for whatever reason. He was near towering over us, a ferousicous growl growing in my throat, when it died away for the second time that night as Renessmee screamed.

"LEAVE ME ALONE, STAY AWAY FROM ME!!" I watched her scream this as if i was outside myself. She looked so destroyed i felt helpless. she didnt even look like herself anymore. Jakes face twisted in pain and Renesmee ran out the back door and the room was frozen again. We watched her run pass the glass window, towards the garage.

Time started again.

Alice stood and ran half way to the window. Rosalie collapsed into Carlisle's arms as he and Emmett moved forward. Jasper looked tortured, he had to feel everybodys pain. I didnt even want to look at Edward. Jake made to run at the backdoor after her, obviously not listening to what Nessie had bawled at him, when i felt it. The complete and utter suffocating fury as the result of my daughters pain. Venom flowed in my mouth, i felt the raw strength of new born body run in my veins, i could even feel my shield coil.

I smashed into jake sending him half way across the room, hearing something crack within his huge body. He crashed into the sofa which collapsed around him. Before anyone else could react to that i was outside running fullout to the garage. I felt the anger leave me as the wind whipped through my long hair but come realing back when i remembered outside wasnt safe anymore.

I heard some cries and hissing from the house but i didnt concentrate on that anymore, there was someone else who needed me more. I ran into the garage and follwed Renesmees wails to the volvo. The door were open naturally, keys in the glove campartment. Nessie was curled up on the passenger seats, her harsh rugged breaths coming less. I pulled her onto my lap and held her against me as i started the car up, her little arms bound round herself trying to stay together. I held her tighter, trying to do it for her as i needed Jake to do for me once upon a time. I floored it speeding around the house and down the huge lawn, i looked up in time to see Edwards figure on the lawn, black against the light of the living room windows, collapse onto his burning man again. There was no one to hold me together.


	7. Chapter 7

Renessmee.

I am not a child now,

I can take care of myself,

I mustnt let them down now,

Musnt let them see me cry, im fine,im fine.

Im too tired to listen,

To old to believe these childish stories.

I try, i try, but its so hard to believe

I try, but i cant see what you see

I try,I try

My whole world is changing, i dunno where to turn

I cant keep you waiting,

but i cant stay and watch the city burn

watch it burn.

I try and try to undersatnd the distance in between

The love i feel

and the things i fear

and every single dream.

I'll try- Jonatha Brooke

I shot up fast in bed. The dream was so real, i felt i was back all over again. I rubbed my eyes and winced as my shoulder stung a eyes felt really warm and stingy still from crying, they'd gone all puffy. I'd never cried like that before, i felt like i couldnt breathe. I couldnt breathe. Momma had to keep telling me too. I felt so hollow. I was so scared about thinking about what had happend that it made me shake.

I was in Momma's old room, i didnt need the lights on to see the old computer and mommas wardrobe. Some of her old clothes were still inside.I bet Alice wouldnt let her have them. Grandpa Carlisle said because my momma was human and daddy was vampire when i born that i half their jenes or qualities he called them when i asked were jeans not pants. It made Uncle Emmett laugh, i forgot to ask why. But because daddy was a vampire i have his physical abilities. I can see without the lights and run faster. Dad said he was getting worried i'd beat him which made me slightly smug, nobody can beat daddy, not even Jake. Momma said she'd still give him a losers prize which made him happy and made Uncle Emmett laugh again. They wouldnt tell me what the loser's prize was but it was obvious on there faces i shouldnt know.

I tried not to cry as i remembered what happend with daddy. I missed him already but i was so angry with them all. I didnt want to see them for a long time but at the same time i wanted to be home. Mommas old alarm clock said it was 03:46, saturday. I was meant to go out with Momma,Rose and Alice today to Port Angeles and then Jake was coming round to dinner. My fingers dug hard into the bed untill it hurt and I exhaled heavily. I thought of what would happend next time i would see Rose. I wanted to scream at her, i wanted to scream at all of them.

I was really tired but i couldnt go back to sleep. Not on my own...daddy would sing to me when I had nightmares.

I got out of bed and tip toed onto the landing, i hoped momma hadnt gone out.

"Momma" i called quietly, i sounded weird.

She appeared on the bottom step of the stairs and i tip toed down, i didnt want to wake grandpa Charlie..he was so angry though i was crying so much when we got here i heard some of the things he was shouting. He wanted to know what had happend. Where dad was? Why i was crying and did i need to go to hospital?, what had dad done?, what was wrong with momma?, He wanted to kill dad if he'd done anything. I seen Momma slide his keys into her pocket when he went to make me i was falling asleep i heard Momma shout at him finally to get him to calm down and put his gun away.

I stopped two steps above momma and held my arms out to her. She gave me a funny look. Not the funny look i see her give daddy sometimes when he's not looking but the one she does when Grandpa Carlisle says we might have to leave soon and it makes her has to kiss her cheek to make it go away. Momma held her arms up to me and i jumped in hiding my face in her neck and hair. It was my favourite place in the world. It was nice and cool, it made me calm. I felt safe here when i could smell Mommas scent of freesias and her arms were around me holding me tight like she wouldnt let anyone hurt me, but mommas face scared me.

I felt momma sit down and wrap the couch blacket around me. I looked up at her, she still looked sad. i reached up and kissed her cheek.

"Please dont be sad momma" i tried to smile but suddenly i felt really sad and a tear dripped down my face. I wiped it away quickly but my another tear fell. Momma kissed it away.

"Im so sorry Renesmee" she looked sadder than ever.

"Please dont be sad momma, please." i begged.

She smiled at me but her eyes were still sad, it felt like she was crying too.

"Why are you sorry momma, i wanted to come here too."

She looked like she was choosing her answer carefully as she looked around the room. Uncle charlies pizza box was gone and the papers were too. Momma must of cleaned up.

"Im sorry for alot of things Renesmee. Im sorry i let this happen to you, that i didnt protect you. Im sorry that i caused our family to fight. Im sorry that you got hurt, in so many ways. I will never forgive myself."

I started to cry, i couldnt help it. I tried to stop but i couldnt. Momma sounded so hurt, in so much pain. I couldnt help but cry and she was blaming herself, it made everything so much didnt even blame me for shouting at Rose and Jake. I remembered daddys face when i shouted at Jake before i ran away, he looked as if he were crying and he was wincing alot.I hurt him too. My throat was already sore from earlier and it got worse as my crying did so i tried to stop. Momma stroked my hair and kissed my head,holding me to her chest.

It helped alot. She kept whispering things to me and i realised it wasnt fair to cry in front of her.

My breathing became normal again and i waited a few minutes to talk, I didnt want to sound like i felt.

"Momma, you shoudlnt be sorry. Its not your fault. I dont blame you, no one does."

She smiled. It wasnt sad but it wasnt happy either but it was getting better. I kissed her cheek again trying to get her smile to one as beautiful as my mom should cry.

"Thank you" she murmured " I love you so much, more than my own life."

I put my hand on my locket.

"I love you too" i yawned

"Go to sleep Renesmee, the world can wait untill tommorow." she started to hum one of daddys songs. I put my head on her chest, over her heart holding my locket.

She started stroking my hair again.

"I love you more than my own life too" i said sleepily. I dont know if she heard me, i may of already been asleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Edward

Mind set on failure  
The road you chose  
Told me you loved me  
Told me no

Take your time I'm only dying  
Patiently I kneel here dying  
Curse the blind you curse the blind  
Deep inside is where it lies

Don't mind me I'm only dying  
What got me into this mess that devoured me  
Lies and deceitful actions keep promising  
Dont mind me im only dying

Darling- Eyes set to kill.

I ran out onto the front lawn just in time to see her drive away from me and as it always does my heart went with her but this time i felt it literally rip out of chest to follow her and our child. The force of it knocked me to the ground, as my volvo dissapeared out of sight. I could still hear Renessmees broken cries. The excrutiation pain hit me over again, as if a bat had been taken to my head and the ground came swirling up to my face, i had enough time to put my face in my hands.

I tried to endure it. To sufer in silence and agony rolled over my body and hot pokers stabbed me over and over. I gripped the ground, throwing dirt everywhere, my feet pushed into it. My body couldnt contain it anymore and it ripped through my teeth, the sound scared the hell out of me. Closing my mouth shut i tried to keep the torment at bay, locked inside my body, i deserved to feel it, feel it burn at every corner of my being trying to escape.

I heard a cry from behind me, from the house. I vaguely regonized it as Rosalie's and heard her footsteps sprint up the stairs to her bedroom where she bagn to cry more hysterical. Then Emmetts heavy ones pursued hers up the to the second floor and he tried to comfort her.

Misery was everywhere. Inside me, around me. Trying to kill us without mercy.

Another burning agony rose up my throat but i wouldnt let it pass. Apart of my subconsience registered i sounded like an engine that wouldnt start, like Bellas' old truck.

Id never suffered like this, never. Not when i had left Bella, thinking id never be with her again. Not when Jane used her formidible gift. Not even when i was changing into the creature i am now. Never did i suffer like this. Just beacuse i knew i'd destroyed something within the ones i loved. Because Bella had left me this time.

Another thought slipped over my subconsious, is this how Bella suffered when i left her?

I thought i was going to be sick, i opened my mouth to wretch but only for everything i felt to be screamed out of me and it didnt even help, didnt let any of the pain subside, just to build up quicker.

Slender arms wrapped around my torso and pulled me back and i let them. I couldnt do anything, i was burining alive and this time it felt gasoline were being poured repeatedly over me.

"Edward please, Edward she's coming back" Alice whispered her delicate voice strained. I closed my eyes, I didnt want to look at her. She pulled me upwards, holding me against her chest and smoothing back my hair. My hands still gripped what i could of the ground.

It just made it more real. Alice's pain. How could i have messed this up so badly, all of my family were being tortured. I tried to dissconect from the pain. Dissconect my body from my mind.

Jasper. I tried to listen out for him but couldnt find him anywhere, mind or body. I couldnt. Feeling all of this must of been to much for and he'd fled. Guilt stabbed me in somwhere around my middle. He would come back soon, very soon. If Alice was here he would come back. He wasnt so much of a coward to leave us like this.

Esme. Oh my god Esme face. It was enough to show how everyone was hurting. She didnt deserve this, her love for everything had been unconditional. She didnt deserve to to feel like this, despite thinking what the rest of us had when we were returning home. It seemed years ago.

Bellas face, when she realised what we all had been thinking of her. I seen what she tried to hide to well, seen the pain twist her face swiftly and then return it normal as it carried on to torment her further. I knew for a fact that if it had been the rest of the family that had assumed this, she would of left she would understand.

But it was me that made her leave, because i didnt believe she wouldnt do this. I'd betrayed her and it was too much it made her leave. It broke her heart.

Renessmee. She would never forgive us.

The burning reared up my throat again trying to escape. The struggle to contain it made me arch my back. Alice held me tighter.

"Edward please listen to me. Theyre coming in the morning, she promised, Bella always keeps her promises. You know that Edward"

Yes, she was coming back. She would come back. She wasnt so cruel to dissapear with Nessie, despite what we'd done and what she thought of us.

What did Bella think of us?

Would she want to stay with me after this?

Did she love me anymore?

The question shocked me so much so that the pain dissapeared. Abruptly. Gone.

What would i do if she didnt love me anymore.

I felt empty.

Alice took my silence the wrong way.

"See. She's coming back is. She is." Alice hadnt looked for Bella, she trusted her word. There was something else..she was scared to look. Not incase Bella had been lying but because she didnt trust her sight anymore.

I sat up and i felt completely dissconected, if i were human i knew i'd be shaking. How odd, well for a vampire anyway. I could feel the ache of the fire, it wouldnt be silent for long.

"Alice", i sounded as i felt, empty."Dont lose trust in you sight, you did see it right, we just assumed wrong. You cant blame youself for everyones mistakes."

I turned myself so i could face her, so she would know i wouldnt lie to face was like the grave.

"How can i not, Edward" she sounded errie,"After tonight how can i not. You all rely on my sight too much and my conclusion of what it means, how can i not blame myself for this"

"Beacuse its my fault Alice" I thought she was going to slap me.

"Dont you dare take this on yourself Edward Cullen" she hissed.

A calming sensation trickeld over me, it made me light headed. In my sudden tranquility i wondered if this is what it was like to be strongly sedated.

I grinned lazily at Alice, she grinned back. What the hell. That was Jaspers que to appear in front of us. He was concetrating so much harder than her ever had before on radiating out soothing waves. It had taken over the house.

I could hear Esme's heavy breathing in the living room. Her mind was all on Bella and Nessie and our feelings. Even though she couldnt feel worried, her thoughts said she should be. Jasper was really going over board. I almost felt tired. Carisle was beside her rubbing circles on her back with one hand while the other held her head to his chest.

"Jacob, maybe you ought to get out of that wreckage" Carlisle said slowly.

"yeah.. i should". There was snapping and groaning from the broken sofa as Jacob pulled himself up. He stood there for a moment trying to conclude what had just caused his sudden turn of emotions. Then he ran across the living room and out onto the lawn, dissapearing into the trees to phase. He was going to go after them to Charlies.

I couldnt find my my voice to protest,neither could anyone else. Its not as if the situation could get worse, he wasnt going to disturb them anyway. He just wanted to make sure they were there.

Jasper swung Alice up into his arms and carriedher into the house.

I looked up at the stars. Bella, Charlie, Nessie. What would Bella tell Charlie?. He would assume it was all my fault of course, which it was i reminded myself. I wondered if he'd try and shoot me. It crossed his mind before on much more, normal accastions. Like when he thought i got Bella pregnant. No just got her engaged and condemed.

Longing appeared. Jaspers radiations where dying away into the house with him.

"Edward." Carlisle murmured

I couldnt go in there. I needed to be as close to Bella and Renesmee without going near them. Bella left for space.

I shot up as the burining ache came back, sprinting around the back and cadapulting myself over the river. I seen myself through the minds of others, they understood i wanted to be alone.

I ran to our cottage, stright into Renessmee room, not bothering to close the front foor, and grabbed her duvet off her bed and ran into our closet and pulled one of Bella's sweaters off the rail.

The ache had grown into devouring flames of guilt again. I allowed it to engolf me, i fell to the floor dragging both their belongings closer to me.

I lay there and let myself fall into the abyss, falling apart in ther process.


	9. Chapter 9

Edward

Can you tell me, softly  
How you'll always haunt me  
Can you help me  
Hold me  
Come to me now, slowly  
You caress me, smoothly  
Calm my fears and soothe me  
Move your hands across me  
Take my worries from me

I will sacrifice  
I will sacrifice  
All I have in life  
To clear my conscience

Sacrifice- Tatu

I slowly resurfaced, coming out of the depths id been lost in.

I could see the sun was streaming in through the French doors that led out into our little garden,from the where i was lying in the closet. It came to my attention in a few seconds I wasnt alone as fingers went slowly through my hair and the smell of freesias was too strong to be coming from the sweater clutched in my hand. Someones arm was around my torso while the other was holding my head while her hand stroked my face.

"Bella" i said sitting up, blinking in uncertanty. It would just be conveniant for me to have gone senile.

She was there and looked relieved, her smile was sad but kind. She sat up with me.

"Bella", what wonderfull thing to find after that wretchedness. I lifted my hand, to brush her cheek with my fingertips. It occurred to me then as i touched her skin, she'd seen what id been going through...whatever it was that i just had gone through. My mind couldnt even wrap around what i'd just suffered, it was so vast. I dropped my hand. I didnt know if i was allowed to touch her anymore, i certantly didnt deserve too. Although she looked upset when i did pull away or maybe because id touched her in the first place.

"Are you okay" she whispered her voice breaking on the last word. She was worried. About me?

"Yes ofcourse, your here." I told her smiling. Half of it was true, I was glad she was here I was just scared about when she'd have to leave again. I could see she didnt believe me, I wouldnt of either.

"Im...sorry you had to see that" i said looking at the floor. It was pathetic I couldnt cope through that, fight through it. Bella deserved a stronger man. I felt my face collapse. What was going to happen now?

"Edward.."

"Wheres Renenessmee?", I asked quickly, scared to know what she was going to say., "How is she?"

"Shes with Charlie. She's better. I spent the whole morning explaining what Rose meant." she didnt sound angry, as i expected. She sounded tired, always taking me by surprise.

"What do you mean 'explaining what rose meant'?" i asked confused. It was obvious what Rose meant. I shuttered at the flash of memory infront of my eyes.

"That you were all just concerned for me. That you didnt know what the out come of pregnancy would be. You were scared that I wouldnt make it, but I knew I would and Rose believed me quicker. But from the moment you heard her mind from inside me you loved her, you all did. I added that you over think things." Bella said smiling at me sheepishly as she finished her sentence.

"And she accepted that,did she?" my throat felt dry. Bella hadnt said one bad word about us, had defended us. What had i just thought? i felt disgusted with myself. How could i think something like that, then again i'd done a few things i didnt think i was capable of.

"Ofcourse she did. Its the truth" she said looking confused and then unsure when she said "Isn't it?"

"Yes, it is." I said swiftly. "I just meant..i thought she'd be furious, i thought you would be too" Time to face the damage.

"She still is a little but mostly with Rose. She miss's you all" she said affectionately.

"You didnt....what about you" I said, determined to keep my eyes on her face, I deserved to see the damage i'd caused.

"Im fine" she said looking away quickly and around the closet, avoiding my eyes.

I sighed. Even if i wasnt allowed too, I took her face in both my hands making her turn to face me, so I could read her eyes.

"No your not" I stated somberly. Everything i feared i'd inflicted flooded into those perfect eyes. Pain, betrayl, worry, uncertainty.

"Im sorry about last night Bella, you have no idea." i inserted before she could say anything.

"I know", she whispered.

"No Bella, you dont." I sighed. I was still holding her face and looked into her eyes as i told her truthfully," I never really fully believed you would do such a thing. Really. But id be a liar if I didnt tell you I didnt listen to what they were thinking. All of their panic leaked into my own thoughts, I know its not an excuse but its the truth." i took another deep breath, "Rose scared me, her thoughts were getting more hysteric. More erratic. She was over thinking everything, she was terrified and it made her act the way she did.", Bella growled, obviously not satisfied with Rose's motive, "Bella, Nessie is the closest thing Rose could ever have as a daughter. Losing her would be like losing Emmett." I let this sink in and continued when Bella looked more understanding. "Her plan was to take Nessie, she told herself it would be for a few days until we sorted out the situation. She wanted to keep her safe. Thats why I held her too me for so long, I worried she would just take off. Why I didnt make Jasper release you, even when it killed me to watch and hear you hurt." I released her face and watched as she considered what I just said.

"Edward im so sorry!" she she wailed causing me to jump in alarm.

"What?" i said baffeld. What could she possible be apologising for. How could she twist something to take the blame on herself.

"For all of it",she cried,"For taking her away, for making our family fight. For making you feel so awful i found you like that",she winced as she finished looking at me pleadingly.

She was diabolical. Before i knew it i was looking down at her shouting.

"What the hell could you be sorry for Bella!?, I made you leave last night, I didnt believe in you enough to convince the others that you wouldnt do this as we raced home. My state that you found me has made you take pity on me and made you feel .." i choked," i wont blame you if you dont love me anymore"

She was standing infront of me in an instant, her hands sliding up my face untill they clutched my hair.

"Dont you ever say that again." she spoke quietly but feircely, "Never think i dont love you, you couldnt do anything vile enough to make me not love you Edward Cullen."

Even though it wasnt the time or the place and even though the situation hadnt been even close to sorted out,our lips met half way between the small distance between us and still it wasnt close enough. I wraped my arm around her waist and pulled her roughly to me.

I felt as if I were floating, she still loved me, my worst fear seemed so silly now. Her hands were still in my hair holding my lips to hers and i twisted her round as i knelt so we were on the floor, my fingers brushing under her shirt, testing the waters. Not confident she wouldnt think we were going too fast. She moaned into my mouth and it was enough to convince me. I trailed kisses down her neck and planted each one on the skin a button hid as i undid them. I moved up to help her slip the fabric off her shoulders. She caught my mouth and kissed me passionatly. Her hands ran over shoulders and down my chest causing me to shutter with pleasure as she pulled my sweater up over my head. Gliding her hands over the bare skin of my chest and then up my back pulling me closer. I broke free of her lips, leaving her breathing heavily and started trailing kisses down her neck and across her chest,along her stomach making her arch and whisper my name.

I undid her jean button with my teeth and pulled them off and through them the length of the closet so they hit the mirror. I could feel the longing building up in me, the need for her and it got worse when she moaned my name. I kissed her hip and then poked my tongue out letting it glide over her skin, between the dip of her waist, up her body untill i was at the hollow of her throat. I pulled back then to look at eyes were hungry as they roamed over my face, her soft, dark brown hair was faned out around her. She was so beautiful.

"What" she said devensivily as i stared at her for long enough to make her embarrassed. I smiled down at her and ran my fingers over her cheek.

"Your just perfect." i whispered tenderly.

She pulled my face down to hers and wrapped her legs around my waist. The need for her was getting out of control, apparantly for her too as her hands slipped over my chest again to undo my trousers. I kicked them off and the shift of my body made her moan more loudly. That did it. I ripped the remaining material away from her body and then Bella was everywhere.

She was all i could see,all i could feel, all i could smell. I was drowining in her, suffocating in her. And i loved it.

Her legs tightened around my waist holding me as close as possible and her delicate fingers ran roughly through my hair occasionaly slipping possessively over my chest or back causing me to moan or shutter. She whispered my name in my ear and nipped the skin underneath it with her teeth. Kissing my neck, I kissed any part of her i could reach. One arm pillowing her head and my free hand exploring her body.

I needed her so badly it hurt, with my free hand i hooked my arm under her leg and pulled it further back. She said my name louder and more frequently and i kissed her lips each time she did.

The drowining and the suffocating was coming to its peak and Bella screamed out my name as she was pulled into ecstasy and i soon followed and all i could see was a starry night and smell the scent of freesia's.

My vision cleared and i pushed up out off Bellas neck to look at her. She put a gentle hand on my cheek and I turned my face into it.

"I love you." she whispered

"I love you more" I told her truthfully and kissed her as she opened her mouth to protest. I felt her laugh underneath me and we fell into our dance again.


	10. Chapter 10

Bella

Running through the monsoon

Beyond the world Til' the end of time

Where the rain won't hurt

Fighting the storm Into the blue

And when I lose myself I'll think of you

Together we'll be running somewhere new

Through the monsoon Just me and you

Monsoon- Tokio Hotel

Even though nothing had changed it felt like everything had. Edward wasnt angry with me, he didnt blame me. I should of guessed he'd find a way to bring this upon him. Its in his nature to blame everything that happens to us on himself. He even go the idiotic idea of me not loving him anymore into his head. That all the more convinced me entirely of had happened to my family was my fault.

When Renesmee had woken this morning, both of us on the couch, and i suggested we head back she went into a rage. She jumped off the sofa and shouted she didnt want to see them again. Her eyes betrayed her, i knew she missed them. How could she not, they were her family. They were willing to give anything for her even their lives. Espically Jacob, she was connected to him in such an advance way, one day he'd mean to her what Edward means to me. I'd heard faint whispers off paws running around the house all night.

Charlie blundering down the stairs to see what the comotion was about eventually stopped her. She didnt like to speak infront of Charlie never mind shout. He looked between both of us and then went into enquiries about breakfast, i passed naturally and he went to make Nessie bacon and her pink and very sheepish. There was silence in which you could hear charlie moving around the kitchen, when Nessie padded over to me from the middle of the room where she'd been having her protest. She put her little hand under my chin and made me look at her instead of the floor.

"Im sorry momma" she said sincerly. I took the opertunity to explain what most of Rose's outburst had meant. It didnt improve her view of things by much. She told me she couldnt face them yet, not today but maybe tommorow.

"Renessmee, i promised we'd go back today. It'll hurt everyone if we dont." I could understand why she wouldnt, she was so hurt. Her angelic face crumpeld and she began to cry. I gathered her up in my arms and told her id make it better, i'd go and talk to the rest of them.

I told Charlie not to open the door to anyone, i stressed the anyone, and not leave the house. He tried to get more information out of me but i gave him a vague 'i'll explain later', i left before he could get shirty. I knew theyd be safe, I could hear jacob outside.

I couldnt go to the big house, i dont think i trusted myself to be near Rose and the others remorse. I didnt know if i could look at Esme again or Alice without feeling that suffocating guilt. I'd best get some of mine and Nessie's things if were going to be staying over night again. I left the car and ran through the forest,passing jacob who whined.

"Ill be back , watch the house and dont get to close. She doesnt want to see you." i said flatly. He whined and looked longingly at the house and then apologetically at me.

"I know Jake.", i said softly and gave him a small smile to show i'd forgiven him, "Im sorry, i hope i didnt hurt you...last night. I was a little earratic." i said sheepishly. The giant russet wolf rolled his eyes and shook his head. He'd forgiven me. That was one. My chest felt lighter.

"Thanks Jake" i said warmly. He bobbed his head without taking his eyes of the house and took off running a patrol around it. I bet Leah and Seth would be close by.

I ran in the direction of the Cullens house, leaving a wide arch around it and on to our little cottage. The door had been left open and there was a strong scent of Edward, he was here. I took a deep breath and walked into our living room.

"Edward" i called timidly. Maybe he didnt want to talk to me, our bedroom door was half closed. Id get Renesmee's things before mine, i was too scared to face him.

Her duvet was gone. How strange. I walked over and brushed my hand along the sheet of the bed. What if her attacker took it. I froze. Too take her scent, to take it to others like Victoria had Riley do when she was in persuit of me. But there was no other scent here except Edwards and Renessmee's. Why would Edward have her duvet? I pondered it for a few more seconds before turning to her wardobe. My hand hand extended to pick out jeans when i heard it. My senses told me there was something in our closet, on the floor to the right. It sounded like a small animal in pain, Edward wouldnt bring his kill back here. Dropping the jeans i moved cautiously but curiously to our bedroom.

"Edward?" i called again. No answer.

I swung the door open and moved toward the closet and what i saw would haunt me for the rest of my existence. I stopped dead for 2 seconds and then i was crouched beside him, shaking him.

"Edward, Edward!" i cried. He was trembiling all over, curled into a ball with Nessie's duvet and one of my sweaters clutched in his hand. His face was twisted in obvious pain and his lips were closed tight. I cried his name again panicking, should i get Carlisle? A vague memory came to me as i tried to bring Edward out of whatever he was in, id seen this before somewhere. My mind raced trying to recall where, through recent meories and old human ones. The ghost of where the hole in my chest had been gave a sharp twinge and it came to me. Id curled up in Edwards position when the pain of him leaving me became to much to bare. Id let it wash over me and id hold myself together why it tried to rip me apart. I stared in horror, id not let that kind of pain take him surely? I hadnt really left him. I climbed over his shaking body so i could have a better hold of him and snaked my arm up around his torso, holding his back to me and slid my other under his head and let my hand massage into his hair. A minute passed and i bagan to fear this was something worse, something really bad had happend to him and i should get Carlisle, when Edwards shaking eased, his lips loosened and his face became softer. A relieved whimper slid out of my throat and i kissed his head, it made him eyelids fluttered open.

"Bella?"

I hadnt even apologized properly for making him feel that kind of agony and the image of him lying there burned in front of my eyes making me wince.

"Bella" Edward whispered, Id known him long enough, heard that voice long enough to notice the well hidden concern. My head was hidden in his chest so he couldnt see my face while hand traced absent mindly over his chest. How could i begin to apologize without him protesting or getting angry with himself. My silence made him uneasy and he rolled us over to look down at me.

"Whats wrong?" his golden eyes burned into mine.

"I cant say or you'll get angry" i muttered looking at his lips. His lips cresed into his cheek so he was smirking

"I promise i wont get angry" he murmured, his lips moved closer. I was going to go cross eyed.

"You will" i said stubbornly. His lips dissapeared and i felt them lightly, but eagerly on mine. Oh i knew what he was trying to do and i really didnt mind...much.

Finally he broke away and chuckeld at my dazed expression.

"Now Bella," his vioce was as smooth as silk " tell me whats bothering you..or you could show me" he grinned. He loved hearing my thoughts.

I blinked trying to understand what he was saying, this was ridiculous i would of bet this state Edwards kisses got me into would stop when i was a vampire. Yeah right.

"Well," i said shaking my head trying to clear it, Edwards lips twitched trying not to laugh," about the way i found you." i paused watching his expression change,his grin dissapeared. His face was was his turn to avoid my eyes.

"Edward, i am so sorry. I cannot believe that it caused you to hurt so much" I said fighting to keep my voice from breaking. Edward closed his eyes and rolled over onto his back.

I propped myself up on my elbow and looked at him pleadingly, he had to say something, to forgive me.

"Edward.."

"I regret deeply you had to find me like that. Im sorry i fell apart the way i did, that i wasnt strong enough to even last the night. That im not a stronger man, one that you please dont apologize Bella, not out of guilt." he told me in a rush, he still hadnt opened his eyes. I stared at him in disbelief. Why did he do this, even if i deserved it, it made me feel even worse than i already did. To see him blaming himself and to say i didnt deserve him? I gave out a little scream of frustration and sat eyes opened looking startled. He was the one meant to be shouting at me.

"Edward for once will you react like a normal human would. I know that your not but could you react like one," i steamed, boring my eyes into the end of the closet wall. I seen Edward sit up in my perpervail vison and felt him watching me,"Even if its not in your nature, even though your a gentlemen coud you for once blame this on me because it is my fault"

I was breathing heavy as a result of my little tantrum and i refused to look at him. A satin hand glided under my chin and turned my face round, i still wouldnt look at him.

"And what would you propose i do, im not human after all." he drawled. His playful tone made me look at him, he arched an eyebrow and his crooked smile was back. If anything it made me madder.

"I dont know",i said throwing my hands into the air,"call me a....bitch or something"i screeched exasperated, glaring at him. His lips were pressed into a thin line trying not to laugh, his eyes searched my face. Another frustrated scream slipped out and i grabbed Renessmees duvet and wrapped it round me and standing up i flounced out to Nessie's room. The idea was to pack some of her things,(id been here much longer than i should, two hours by her clock) really i didnt want to know what Edwards reaction to me telling him to call me a bitch o was. Even if it was laughing, i felt so embarrased. It was so childish of me.

Id only packed a cardigan and jeans when two hands slid roughly around my waist and pulled me back against his chest.

"I'll accept your apology if you accept mine." he said compromising. It was probably the best i'd get.

"Done."

"One more thing,can i call you a sexy bitch?" he said softly into my ear. I swallowed loudly.

"Er, that was very sorry" i breathed.

"Hmmm,childish isnt what id say" he murmured silkly into my neck and turned me around to face him, kissing me at once. The duvet dropped.

"Thats better" he sighed kissing my neck. I giggled. He held me tighter.

"Edward i have to get back, to Nessie." i said trying to keep stiffened and the exaled loudly and pulled back to look at me

"Your not bringing her back today are you" he sighed. It wasnt a question. I put my hand on his cheek.

"No" i said softly.

"She's so angry, so hurt", his silk voice broken, his eyes going the same way," its such a mess" he leant his forehead to mine.

"Mess's can be cleaned. She just needs to calm down, not be angry when she asses the situation. Maybe you should come speak to her." his head jerked up, something lit up inside him.

"Really? will she want to se me though?"

"She misses you, i told you that."

"Okay" he beamed. He was more like an angel than ever.

I forrowed my eyebrows as something else occured to me.

"You'll have to go and see the others first. I dont want them to think im cancelling them out or that im angry with them.", even though i still was a little but the guilt buried it, "And i promised we'd be back, i dont want to lie to them either." i looked up at him, he nodded in agreement.

"You'r not coming with me?" he speculated

"Not yet" i replied quietly.

"I understand" and he wrapped his arms around me again and held me, until i mumbeld about the time. We got dressed (reluctantly) and i packed some of mine and Nessies things.

We held hands coming out of our home and walked at human speed. I stopped when we were nearing the house.

"I'll see you soon?"

"Soon" he promised and kissed me.

We got carried away and the tree we'd moved up against groaned. I giggled. Edward smirked. The others were bound to know i was here now, if not already aware thanks to Alice. I was grateful they'd left us alone even though it must be hard for them.

"Soon" he promised again, a seductive note traceable in his tone. I felt light headed when he pulled away.


	11. Chapter 11

Bella

This is the last night you'll spend alone  
Look me in the eyes so I know you know  
I'm everywhere you want me to be  
The last night you'll spend alone  
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go  
I'm everything you need me to be

The last night- Skillet.

I ran to Charlie's as if I was flying, my heart filling with the love and relief I had been given. Feather light brushes of an electric surge ran down my arms and spine every time I thought of Edward.

The world seemed so much brighter, more vibrant more beautiful knowing everything was going to get better where before the world had reflected my inner turmoil, cold, dull and almost hollow.

As soon I got back Charlie would see the change in me, he wouldn't need an explanation but would mutter incoherencies about marrying to young, whatever made him happy.

I wouldn't know Renesmee's reaction, whether she'd scream, cry or agree but I knew she'd speak to him eventually, she missed him. She missed them all, it was clear in her eyes. It wouldn't really surprise me if she'd tried to contact Jake already. I hoped he'd stuck to his promise and not went bashing down Charlie's door for her, although if she'd found away to get around Charlie and called out the door to check for him I wouldn't be able to blame him for coming.

It might be selfish but i wanted Edward there first, for Renessmee to listen to him, to forgive him first. Oh god i was being biased, it didnt mattter, as long as she forgave them both. Which she would, she loved them all, my heart swelled again as I realised everything would be okay.

I passed a scent I recognised as Leahs, yeah i knew he'd have her out running patrol. I flew through the remaining jade and came to Jakes scent near the edge of the trees. He'd worn a trail into the ground and I realised how lucky i was was, everything had really worked out for us all. We could all be together happily.

I listened out when i got to the brim of the forest, Charlie was in the kitchen, reading instructions to a pasta recipe and muttering. Nessie was in my old bedroom, the curtains had been drawn shut. I sighed, either she knew she was being watched and didnt want to be seen or she wanted to be shut away. Not everyone was as close to being okay as i'd thought.

"Dad, Nessie" I called, closing the front door quietly.

"Bells, that you?", charlie called unnecessaryly. Who else would it be? "I'm in the kitchen."

I wandered in and found him brooding over the back of a packet. Running a hand through what was left of his hair, I tried not to smirk.

"Need any help?" I supplied making Charlie jump in alarm.

"Gah, God, I didnt hear you come in"

"Sorry, Dad" I said pressing my lips together.

"Its fine" He replied gruffly.

"Do you want me to make that for you?"

"No, I got it undercontrol" he said reaching into the cuboard for a small saucepan,"You seem better, everything okay now" I knew my dad well enough to know that is offhand tone was burning with curiousity.

"Nearly there." I sighed, crossing my arms and walked over to sit at our old table. I set the backpack containing Nessie's clothes on the surface infront of me.

"How is she Dad?" I asked quietly, frankly a little scared of the answer. All the happyness and vibrancy I'd been feeling vanished, as if being swtiched off.

"Charlie sighed and tuned the tap off from filling up a measuring jug and set it on the work top. He turned to face me and he looked younger with a sad lost expression that had been under the mask he'd been wearing.

"She didnt eat anything I made her this morning and insisted on going back up to bed. I went to check on her and she pretended to be alsleep. I could tell she was crying Bells".

I'd left her for more than 2 hours, when i knew she was hurting. How could i be so selfish, How could i have made so many mistakes in so little time. Charlies heavy footseteps crossed the lino untill i felt his warm hand on my back, he pulled out the chair beside me.

"Bella what happened" Charlie said softly. "You scared me when you turned up like that, you both did. I thought he'd....I thought so many different things."

"It was my fault." I whispered.

"What was?"

"Im sorry Dad, for scaring you.", I lifted my head out of my hands and Charlie took my cold hand in his. His eyes roamed my face concerned, "It was just a misunderstanding and I overreacted and left with Renessmee."

"Why was Nessie crying, if you overreacted Bella?" Charlie asked not buying my half truthful answer.

"Well.....Rose wanted us to stay so we had a little argument, which upset her. Children don't like seeing their family fight." My voice got lower towards the end of the sentence, as muddy human memories came back to me. Charlie heavily exhaled.

"No they dont, I remember the look you had when me and your Mom..." he trailed off., staring off into the past. We sat for a long minute thinking of different things.

"Im going to go check on her." I said, getting up to fast that Charlie jumped again when he realised i was standing over him, "Sorry Dad"

"No, no it's fine." He said getting nosily out of his chair and returning to the work top.

I knocked softly on my old bedroom door and heard a muffled hiccup come from inside.

"Renessmee" I said tenderly, opening the door and closing it behind me. The room looked undisturbed, it was dark, with just a little square on the floor from the weak light that had filtered in through the curtains. A small lump lay in the middle of my bed, cacooned by the duvet, quivering slightly.

I sat down on its edge and ran my hand delicatly over the mound.

"Momma?" It asked, voice breaking. I pulled the duvet off her at the same time she'd begun to sit up and I pulled her to me. She must of been crying a long while, her breathing was quick and shallow, around her eyes the skin was red sore and her bottomless brown her eyes flooded. Her little hands clutched my hair and I willed myself not to break down, I hated seeing her like this. There was no way to describe it, knowing their was nothing i could physically do, whether it was give it a band aid or scare away what was haunting her. In this case id be willing to rip it apart, I realised if this were it, it would be Rosalie Id be willing to kill. I sent away the thought as quickly as it came.

I rubbed circles in between Nessies little shoulders, waiting for her breathing to become more even before speaking,

"Im sorry for being so long" I told her truthfully. Hoping she'd forgive for this, for leaving her to suffer by herself while I.....

"It's okay Momma" She hiccuped as i smoothed the wet hair away from her face. Her little hand came up to my cheek and a question flashed before my eyes. I choose my answer carefully.

"I told your Dad he could come and talk to you. He misses you.", I let this sink in as her chocolate eyes searched my face,"He wants to explain his side of the story."

She nodded and her body jolted with a hiccup.

"Would you like a glass of water?" I asked softly.

She nodded again wiping her eyes, I kissed her forehead before tucking her back into bed.

"Are you hungry? Grandpa told me you havn't eaten." She shook her head

"Do you not want to try something" I urged softly, she shook her head again.

"Okay", I stated defeated,"I'll go get your water". Feather light footsteps were nearing, running through the forest. I strightened up and listened out as they bagan to slow.

"What is it, Momma?" Nessie asked timidly.

"I think you Dads here" I murmured back as soft steps asended up the porch and a knock issued from downstairs. I didnt want to leave Edward alone with Charlie for too long, he didnt need to say anything to get get his opinion across and it would only make Edward feel worse.

"I'll send him up with your water" I asked, it was completely up to her.

She nodded and another tear escaped and I smoothed it away, as Charlie opened the door downstairs and exhaled sharply. I kissed her forehead again and left the room closing the door soundlessly behind me.

"And what do you have to say for yourself?" Charlie was demanding off Edward when I got halfway down the stairs. It must of started to drizzle outside, little diamonds were glistening in Edward bronze hair and his shirt had little dark specs over it. His honey eyes searched my face while his was composed.

"Dad" I cut in sharply. I knew he was concerned but I've given him an explanation, he didnt have to turn on Edward. Charlie opened his mouth to retort when Edward beat him to it.

"Bella, it's okay", he turned to Charlie," I know the damage i've caused Charlie and im going to do everything to fix it," Charlie opened his mouth again but Edward carried on, "I promised to look after her Charlie, I wont break that promise and the same vow applies to my daughter. They are the most important things to me now,ever and always."

"And you couldnt remember this last night because?" Charlie inquired hotly as Edwards facade slipped and the burning man shadowed his face.

"Dad!", I barked,coming down the last few steps to Edwards side and lacing my fingers through his," I've told you what happened, it's not Edwards fault. Its shared between everybody and we're dealing with it." I finished, glaring.

"Bella.." Edward started but i cut him off.

"Edward dont."

Charlie looked between us both and let out a huff, " Fine, You know where I am if you need me" and with that he stalked into the living closing the door, not so gently, behind him.

I pulled Edward along with me into the kitchen and closed the door.

"Im sorry about that" I said, apologetically looking up at him.

"Its less than i deserve Bella" He sighed, pulling me to his chest. I wraped my arms around him tightly, holding him to me and sighing in relief. Everything seemed a little better already with him here.

I pulled away reluctantly and looked up into the face i loved, the shadow was still there. I tried to smooth it away with my fingertips and tried to communicate silently with those rich eyes which were hardened over. I gazed into them untill they began to melt,turning warm and honeyed, a smile played with my lips. Edward bent and kissed me softly and my arms snaked reflexivly around his neck.

"Renessmee needs a glass of water" I breathed. Not that I didnt want to stay where I was but i wasnt going to put my wants before Nessie's needs. Not ever again.

"Mmm, I heard." He murmured, kissing my cheek.

I pulled away took a glass from the cuboard, when a burnt smell caught my attention. I left the glass on the work top and crossed over to the bin to inspect. I disguarded ruined pasta mixute lay on the top of everything else. I smiled dispite of myself.

"What is it?" Edward asked curious taking the glass and running the water.

"Nothing" I said innocently as he raised his eyebrows at me and held the glass of water out to me. I looked at it and then back at him.

"You take it up to her." He regaurded me apprehensively, unsure.

"Edward, she wants to see you. She misses you."

He nodded and took a deep breath. He arched to give me a swift kiss before crossing the room and closing the door silently behind him. His footsteps were faint on the stairs and he tapped lightly on the Bedroom door before going in.

"Renesmee" Edward murmured.

"Daddy" Renesmee choked, I heard the cover being pushed back and the bed springs shift.

It didn't feel right to listen, I walked quietly to the back door and went out into the drizzly, afternoon and took shelter in the woods.

Huge paws beating agaisnt the earth were coming closer.

"Hello Jake".


	12. Chapter 12

Bella

Stop and stare  
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere  
Yeah, I know that everyone gets scared  
But I've become what I can't be, oh  
Stop and stare  
You start to wonder why you're 'here' not 'there'  
And you'd give anything to get what's fair  
But fair ain't what you really need  
Oh, can you see what I see?

Stop and stare- One republic

The russet wolf came bounding forwards over the mossy undergrowth, pausing a few feet away. Being cautious, his huge dark eyes seemed to brim over with some emotion he wanted to express but then he turned to look at the house which was barely viewable.

"Im sorry, Jake"

The mass of fur let out huge breath and bobbed his head. I watched him turn and gallop out of sight and heard him stop 20 ft away behind me. I realised what he was doing and looked away quickly giving him privacy.

One pair of feet padded up behind me and the heat reached me before he did, it was uncomfortable but durable as i was used to it. What i wasnt used to was two, huge hot arm wrapping around me swiftly and pulling me against a burning slab, I hissed at the same time he released me. My naturally insticts sent me volting 2ft away and slipping into a crouch.

"Damn your freezing.", Jakes complained rubbing his chest,"Smells not much better" he added shivering.

Watching Jake shiver and mutter away to him self helped me beat down the naturally desire to srike. The foul smell of wet dog filled my head and I enahled quickly trying to clear it away. I collected myself and strightened up, all of this took about 2 seconds. I was used to being around Jake, to smelling Jake, but for him to grab me so unexpected blocked out every connection of me and my best friend. It was just Me and a werewolf, me and an enemy.

"Why the hell did you do that", i hissed, "I was so close to attacking you"

"It was supposed to be a nice gesture, A hug does get that message across." He mocked and then his face softened under my glare, " I forget sometimes, I get so used to being around you all. Not going to make that mistake again" He said the last sentence with a shake of his head.

"Next time give some warning, okay?" I said smiling dispite of myself

"Does this mean im forgiven then?" Jake asked. He would looked amused if his eyes didnt have the same emotion building,

"Forgiven?" I ventured,confused, "You only attempted to hug me."

"For last night" he said quietly, the amusement slipping off his face replaced by pain, "for scaring you both"

In that moment, seeing jakes face crumple in pain i wanted to be able to wrap my arms around his waist. To give him that reassurence and wasnt there somebody who wasnt blaming themselves for last night?!

"Jake dont be ridiculous, it was my fault. I should of known you'd react like that. I would've. I mean you walk in on couple of vampires having a disagreement with someone you care about smack bang in the middle. I should of explained to you." I said in a rush, just wanting to see him smile again.

"I care about you too Bella, even if you do send me flying when i havn't got a license", he smiled weakly and hurried on when i opened my mouth to apologise again," But i didnt know what to think. I walked into the room and everyone looked like someone had died, then i started panicing because i couldnt find her. Then i seen her, in your arms and she looked so scared and you were backed away from the rest of them. I thought they were going to harm her in some way, I know its idiotic so dont look at me like that, and then i noticed the way you looked. Bella it was like...a ghost of the look you used to have when he left you," I shuttered as the memory of the hole singed, Jake carried on," I asked what was going on and no one would answer me, you just kept saying you'd be coming back. All i could think about was it an excuse for you and Edward to dissapear and take her away from me and then the Barbie said what i was afraid of. Then the psycho was hissing and breaking things and in the position to attack you and all I could see was Nessie and the pull she has on me screaming for me to protect her." He fell silent and a tear slid down his face and melted into the falling rain that had gotten heavier as he had been speaking. When spoke again his voice was so faint it was nearly inaudible

"Then she said it, she screamed that none of us wanted her alive.", Jakes face crumpled even further. I wanted to say something but I didnt trust myself to speak, scared i'd wail instead.," And she just...fell apart and I knew I had to get her out of there. Had to do something even if it meant hurting you or going through Edward. I just needed to help her, it was if i could feel her pain Bella, feel it breaking me too. Then she screamed at me, said she wanted me to stay away and then she ran away and i knew what she'd said but i couldnt help it, the agony she felt was connected to me and I need to cut away, needed to rip it away from her. Needed to kill it. But then you knocked me clear and i just couldnt move. I could hear her crying and the weight of it kept me where i was, ringing in my ears, untill the mood messer calmed every thing down. All i could feel was emptyness, so hollow i coudnt make out where i was, couldnt feel my it all rushed back to me so i followed you and ran around the house, just trying be as close as i could even though she told me to stay away." Jakes huge shoulders were shaking and I forgot about the differences, forgot about why i couldnt in the first place and i crossed the small space swiftly and locked my arms around Jakes waist briefly, His huge arms crushed me to his chest before both of us pulled back.

"Im so sorry Jacob" I choked

"Bella what happened? Why would Rosalie tell her that?" He asked sounding strangeld. I took a deep breath and collected myself.

"Dont intterupt" i ordered," And try not explode, this is going to make you angry."


	13. Chapter 13

Edward  
I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away  
I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain  
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
And I don't feel right when you're gone away  
Broken-Seether ft Amy Lee.

The last note left my lips softly as Nessie's breathing became slower. I pulled back Bella's old duvet and tucked it around my daughters tiny frame. I smoothed my thumbs lightly over the red,tender skin around her eyes, if only i could make that smudge of pain go away. A different kind of torture touched my silent heart when i watched her cry, I felt helpless, I felt lost, I felt guilty, I felt anguish, I felt fury, I felt afraid, I felt i'd failed.

I lived a 100 years alone, wondering (as i'd given up hoping) i'd find someone who completed what i was. Never did I think I'd have a child, that gift was lost to me, one of the many reasons i was reluctant to give Bella this life but I'd been given two things secred to me. Two things I'd hurt deeply, for not being able to protect and not being able to beleive, it was a wonder they still wanted me here, that it all wasn't hanging by a thread. It was foolish to think a few hours ago as i lay with Bella that things seemed better, seemed brighter, it was an illusion. Looking at my broken daughter enforced that loud and clear. Only when I heard Charlie's thoughts, at what he worried and suffered, did I let all my fears lose in my head to mull over.

My daughter was so precious, such a living miracle and the people that were meant to keep her safe and happy had hurt her the most. Although she had forgiven us, she couldnt forget. As much as she tried, as much as she grew frustrated with trying to let it go, she couldn't. Which made her more distressed because she was scared it would upset me and the others, she was selfless.

I explained everything I had to Bella, everyones actions, even my own. She understood ,she forgave me quicker than i deserved, her forgiveness was more than i deserved. She told me she was sorry she screamed and she was sorry she'd hurt me and began to weep her sincerity. It was diabolical she was apologising to me, like her mother she got it all backwards. She was frightened the rest of the family would be angry and i reasured her they weren't, just despereate to have her home and safe. There was more to her fears and it slipped through so i was able to read it, she wondered whether they'd realise that she was a mistake, that she shouldnt be alive. The thought infuriated me, it wasnt that Renessmee thought this of her family but that she was so distraught, she was letting her mind imagine wild things and was believing them. I couldnt beleive what i was witnessing, just four days ago we were all so happy and now it was hard to recognize the fragile little doll in front of me. Her hysteria, her pain and her thoughts scared me. How could one little girl cope with so much, she may be ingenious but she still was a little girl. She was my little girl, our little girl and I vowed with vengency, as if pain was a living being, it wouldnt hurt her like this ever again. Even if it killed me.

Her shoulder had started to burn distracting her and i'd fetched the morphine from were it sat on Bella's old desk in the corner of the room. I was momentarily greatful that it would help lull her to sleep, so her mind could rest, that she could escape from her pain for a while.

Below Charlie paced up and down his living room, thoughts torn whether or not to leave us or come and check, to ring Carlisle, to ring the hospital. Nessie's wails frightened him and he worried for her health,he perceived there was something we were hiding from him and he was battling to stand by his 'need to know' condition.

In a moment of calmness, centre of the eye of the storm, she told me about her nightmares. In a tiny voice threaded with cracks, she told me that she was high on her Jungle gym calling for her Momma, but Bella wouldnt come and look. She'd slide to the bottom as the sky grew darker as she got closer to the ground. The kitchen door was closed and for some reason she knew it was locked, she walked closer to the glass window which was blurred but became clearer as she got closer. It was our family arguing, Bella and Rosalie in the middle while Emmett and I stood on opposite sides of our wives. Taking a different side. She'd start to cry and scream for them to stop but then Rosalie would lunge for Bella and she couldnt look anymore. She looked away to the woods where a russet tail dissapeared into the green and she ran after it shouting for help. She said it became colder as she went deeper into the wood, and she'd catch a glimpse of red watching her but beleive she was imagining it. When she got to cold to go on she'd turn to come home, when a white hot poker sliced through her shoulder and she fell down,unable to open her eyes. She wanted to crawl, to get away but something held her down and when she was allowed to open her eyes, blood red ones gazed back at her and then she'd wake up.

She now dreamnt of being downstairs in the livingroom,in front of the fire and Charlie was telling her an old story to do with her wolf people. I sat on the sofa, Bella currled up into my side. She could hear Jake in the kitchen, thundering around cooking for us all. She was afraid of going outside and asked me to close the curtains, she whispered she'd seen the red eyes. I told her they wouldnt come near us because we had a guard dog, which made Bella laugh, a tinkiling sound and Jacob come into the room with a pile of food and packeted blood and Charlie asked what was so funny, going on with his story...

I watched her face as she dreamnt peacefully and thought of these eyes. I felt a little dissapointed that I couldnt rip them from their sockets, to hear the metalic screech as i ripped the fiend limb from limb for daring to even look at her, never mind feed from her. The sheets strained under my hands as they were captured by my fists, I fought for control, to beat down the murderous fury and focus on my daughters face. I'd seen through Emmetts memory the vampire he'd chased and wanted to question,trying to keep the same feeling of murdering at bay. The man was someone i'd never seen before, that I was sure of. His oynx black hair was cropped to his chin and his eyes were wild crimson as he snarled against a tree Emmett had him up against. He wouldnt answer any of Emmetts questions, wouldnt comply with any compromise Em promised, earning him to lose Emmetts temper and his head. His movements I monitord from Em's memory were obvious this vampire wasn't very experienced and maybe not very old. He went for the direct attack we'd learnt to avoid from Jasper nearly a year and half ago.

This part left me suspicious, if he were a new born, why hunt so close to where other immortal scents lay all around? Was he curious about how many of lived together and why? Did he have his own questions he needed answering? Was he so thirsty that he couldnt smell the difference in Renessmee's blood and his instinct over took him? None of these paid the littlest part of an excuse, then again I wouldnt except one.  
There was something else, something i hadnt touched on but my fears skimmed over.....What if he'd been sent?  
No,no, no. If he'd been sent Alice would of seen. She was prepared for any action made by the volturi, waiting for it as such. It was clear in their minds last year they wanted, if not planned revenge. 'For slipping past justice' as Caius' livid mind put it. His pride had taken a phonomenal blow, his beliefs burned with imaptience. He wanted us punished or rather needed us punished.

The last conclusion echoed through my head as i watched Nessie sleep. A small smile graced her pink shell lips, as her dreaming Jacob told her he'd never leave her. She was half of me and half of my Bella, she was something that I was destined to protect.

"Even if it kills me." I confirmed my vow quietly.


End file.
